Mike's musings

Baptisms galore

Quite a day, really. I'm about to do the ironing, after a lovely 5.4km (3.34 mile) walk. That was after putting the girls to bed. We'd spent most of the after noon at Sally's post-ordination party. The girls met a 7 year old who they played with, so that was good, and it was nice to meet some of Sally's family and friends.

But it was the morning which was most interesting. It was my first "lone" Sunday, and 5 minutes before the 0800 started, I was concerned that noone was going to turn up. Luckily, 4 people turned up, which was a relief. After a 40 minute or so service, I then had well over an hour to kill before the 1000. What to do? Well, I walked down the hill to the WH Smith at the bottom of town, and bought a copy of the Observer. And on the way up, I noticed that there was a caff open. Not a café: a caff. Yes, and open caff. So, was my eating there simply an excuse for a cooked breakfast, or an opportunity for expressing my ministry of presence with parishioners? You get to decide. At least I 'fessed up.

So, after another trip to WH Smith's for some mints, I was back up to the church for our 1000 Eucharist. I do enjoy celebrating the Eucharist: it's great. And after that, we had a baptism. Well, I say _a_ baptism. I'd been told to expect 5 candidates (all children, from 4 families), and lots of family and friends. We god under way with a pretty full church, and it was only at the presentation of the candidates that I realised that there seemed to be 6 children dressed up for the occasion. I stopped and demanded a recount, and there were, in fact, 6 children, from 5 families. Luckily, we discovered the we had all the relevant paperwork, and were ready to proceed.

It was a blast. There were so many children, friends and family that half of the job was policing and traffic control. I had to restart the service and explain that the congregation needed to read out the bits in bold, or the service really wouldn't work. There was lot of children-noise, lots of adult noise, lots of photos, and lots of joy. The first candidate was a little boy who was asleep when it came to the actual baptism, but not when I poured the water over his forehead. He woke up, and cried, loudly. Which rather put the other children off. And I've never needed to raise my voice in a service whilst micced and amped up. I loved it, and had lots and lots of very positive feedback (and not from the mic-amp-speaker system). And about 270 people in the church.

Labels: baptism, curacy, eucharist, food

Lenten service

I took a Lent service at noon today. Half an hour: I chose to talk about forgiveness, how hard it is, and how God will understand if we can't forgive. I based it around a guided reflection on Jesus' words on the cross: in particular his "forgive them, for they know not what they do", and his telling John and his mother to consider each other mother and son. I also used the Ravensbruck prayer, in which the woman who wrote it never says that she forgives those who have caused the suffering of her and those around her, but asks God to consider the good that has come of suffering. Apparently, the prayer was left next to a dead child, and we don't know whether the woman was Jewish, Christian, or of another faith, but it's one of the most powerful prayers I know, and very difficult to pray. I was nearly in tears, but I think it's important to be honest about our emotions, whether we are clergy or not, and a number of people commented positively on my openness. Anyway, enough of me: here's the prayer:

"O Lord, remember not only the men and women of good will, but also those of ill will. But do not remember all the suffering they have inflicted on us, remember the fruits we have bought, because of this suffering - our comradeship, our loyalty, our humility, our courage, our generosity, the greatness of heart that has grown out of all of this, and when they come to judgement, let all the fruits we have borne be their forgiveness."

Labels: curacy, Lent, service

And it's goodbye from him...

(backposting) It was James' last day with the team today: he's been the "senior curate" since I arrived in the team, and he's been a source of wisdom and support over that time. And he's become a good friend, too. We saw him off at a 1000 service, and he also came to an informal "TECS" service that I ran at Earls Colne at 1800. Oh, and there was a lunch: he gave me a bottle of single malt, which I intend to ensure that he helps me drink.

The TECS service was interesting and fun, though I made a bunch of mistakes in the running of it (no grace, 1 wrong hymn, 1 hymn so badly formatted that it couldn't be read, stuff like that), but I played Lisa Gerrard's "Sanvean - I am your shadow" and Keane's "Again and again", which both seemed to go down very well. James I and finished the day with a drink at the Dog Inn in Halstead. We'll be keeping in close touch.

Labels: curacy, friends

Curates get-together

(backposting) We had a get-together this evening for the new curates in the area (that's me and a bunch of others), and four of us made it. We had a good chat about Christmas, about preaching, and about how it's all working for us. Of the four of us, there were two full-time, and two self-supporting, so there was a good mix, and it was a good opportunity to share the joys and the frustrations of ministry.

Labels: curacy

Review

I had a review of my curacy so far with my CME officer and training incumbent this evening. It went well, I think. Here are some of the things that came up from my end:

• how much I enjoy serving - particularly at communion;
• the privilege of baptisms and funerals;
• the support and friendship I've received from the team;
• how I wish I had more time to give, and how I feel guilty when I have to cancel things.

I really enjoy what I do, and although it's hard work to balance things - and that hard work will continue - it's a real privilege and a joy.

Labels: curacy

Supervision and singing

I had a supervision with John, my incumbent, today. It was a six-month review, and I think we're both pretty happy with how things are going. This is great news, because it took some real compromise and pain when we were setting up the agreements. Also, we've got through more of the pieces in the training agreement than I think either of us had expected, which is quite a relief. Not to say there's not a lot more to do - there is - but it's going well.

This evening, I attended choir practice, as we'll be performing Cornelius' "Three Kings" on the 25th, as part of the 1000 service. We found a good place to sing from, with really nice acoustics. The choir did well, as they'd only had one chance to look at it before.

Labels: curacy, music

A funeral

Today I participated in my first funeral since being ordained in June last year. Taking funerals is part of ministry, and it's important that I have some experience of it. Actually, many priests/deacons who work full-time take very few, as most funerals tend to take place during the week. So, apart from families and friends, it may be that I won't be too busy with them, but I need some practice.

James took the funeral, and I did a reading and intercessions. It was very, very cold in church, and I had worries not only about my ability to cope with the emotional side of the service (particularly as it was for a 53 year old mother who had died from breast cancer), but also that I wouldn't be able to talk properly because of the cold: my teeth were actually chattering. In the end, it was fine, and I found that singing the hymns helped. I wasn't able to continue to the crematorium for the committal, as I had taken an early lunch-break to be involved, but it was a very worthwhile and humbling experience. It made me realise how just being there, being a solid focus in the service, and allowing people to work through their grief, you can minister to them. That can be all it takes. Humbling, as I said.

Labels: curacy, death, diaconate

Possible curate

So, we've got a possible curate coming to see us on Tuesday. James will be leaving at some point between now and July, as he's served his title post and will be moving along somewhere else. That leaves us without a full-time curate, and lots of work to do in the team which there's no way I can do, as I still work full-time. So, we're keen to have someone, if God's will is that we should, natch. So, I'm picking up a possible curate (currently an ordinand) on Tuesday, after taking the kittens in for neutering, and before getting on a plane to New York.

Labels: curacy, travel

Sleeping the clock round

I was going to blog on something major today, but I'm going to hold off. We're planning to go to bed, and it's not something that I want to treat without giving it the time it deserves. In the meantime, Moo got back with the girls late this afternoon. It's lovely to have them back, and Miri seemed very keen to cuddle up with me on the sofa.

I had a quiet day, and lunch with the clergy team, talking to a possible new curate. Did some shopping, spent some time on Facebook, did some reading, was disappointed in the England rugby team's score against Australia: that sort of thing. I'd slept pretty much round the clock, so I've felt pretty much OK all day.

Labels: blogging, curacy, girls, sleep

Supervision

(backposting) Another good work day, and after that some church work. Jo joked that Daddy must be confused if he was going to do church work, because it's not a Sunday. Usually I manage to avoid my evening church commitments from impacting on the girls' bedtime, but tonight I had to leave before 1745. Oh, and it was _chucking_ it down.

So, we started off with some marriage preparation. A couple with a young daughter - and my first baptism, which is going to be on Sunday. Went well, and we got on well - they stayed for 10 minutes or so after James (who was running the session) had left - which was good.

There was a communion service at 1900: four of us there. John (presiding), me and two others. One of whom is only a few months old: her mother has been having a hard time, and fancied some church, which is cheering. I got to hold the bubba for a while during the service, which made me happy.

Then a supervision over supper with John. We talked about the links between the sacraments of baptism, confirmation and ordination. I'm really enjoying my curacy, and the diaconal aspects of it. It's great to be part of things, quietly helping. Just there.

Labels: church, curacy

Lunch

(backposting) I met James for lunch today. We get on very well, and we had lunch in a pub. Unluckily, the pub we went to only had one pudding, and neither of us fancied it. So, we went to another pub for pudding. That makes sense, doesn't it?

It's one of the best things about my curacy so far is the friendship that has grown between James and me. He's full of support, and at the same time, we get on very well: lots of jokes at each others' expense, that sort of thing. I hope that the next curate we get - assuming we get one - is someone with whom I can get on as well. Because it's a real help: he's a good man.

Labels: curacy, friends

Curates get-together

This evening, we had a meeting of the 6 curates in our diocesan area. That'll be me, Terry, Mandy, Iain, Mark and Paul. It was convened by Tim, who's our CME (Continuing Ministerial Education) Advisor, at his place. We used the first meeting to get to know a bit about our stories, and wow: some of us really _do_ have stories. I don't count myself as one of them. One great snippet, which I don't think the relevant person will mind my mentioning:

"So I had my meeting with the bishop, and he said, 'so it says here that you were a mercenary in Africa. Obviously that's a misprint for missionary. So I said, 'actually, no...'."

A good meeting: we're going to have three a year, and use them to discuss whatever we feel is important or useful, rather than going over-structured.

Labels: curacy, ministry

More National Trust

So, after I got back from the 0800 and 1000 services, we headed off to Ickworth House, another National Trust property, and one which Si and D recommended to us, for the adventure playground, if nothing else. We had a very good time, and both girls did lots of running (or, in Miri's case, waddling fast) around. The adventure playground was, indeed, excellent, and both both Miri and Jo had a good time. We were just packing up when the rain started to come down pretty hard, so we were pretty pleased with ourselves.

I'm slowly getting better at the choreography involved with deaconing. Remembered the corporal at the 0800, at least. Got a couple of other bits wrong, but not too bad. I took the first part of the 1000 at Greenstead Green (a team service, though Viv wasn't there as she was ill), which went very well. I also deaconed at the altar for John, though he prepared the elements. We had to get extra wine ready (we realised in time), but then I came over with the lavabo, rather than the water in the cruet (apparently it really is called that), so we used that, as we were getting behind. I'd point out that we used the water _before_ John washed his hands.

Mel seems to have had a rather good hen night...

Labels: curacy, girls, nanny

The Big Time

Yes, I was interviewed twice for BBC Radio Essex this morning (no, I'm not going to add the link to the "Listen Again" option). 0635 and 0730 (The Dog Inn, Halstead and The Lion, Earls Colne). And then we had a picture taken for the Halstead Gazette for the "Come and See" mission week (21-28 Sept) at 1330 (at the Dog Inn again). And I took the landlady at her word and popped round for a pint this evening after a meeting with John and James (and, officially, with someone for some baptism preparation, but they never turned up).

Also had a good chat with someone about something on the phone. I can't talk about this at the moment, but hopefully it was useful for her, too.

And we've booked a holiday (in the UK) in September. Yay.

Labels: curacy, drink

Corporality

As you'll see if you look, James left a somewhat sniffy comment about my lack of ability to fold a corporal. You just can't get the staff, it turns out. That would be me.

Actually, it wasn't really a sniffy comment, but I could have read it that way if I'd felt like it. I do feel for poor Gary, though: I don't mind folding things (when I remember), but it's clearly not something he's used to doing.

Today, we had a visit from the possible new curate, but I wasn't able to make it.

The kittens continue lovely.

Labels: curacy, diaconate, kittens

Being a proper clergyman (-person)

(backposting) Today I went to my first flower festival as a member of clergy. It was in Halstead church, and it was good - partly because there was good cake. I went in jeans, a hooded top, and a clerical shirt. I'm taking the view that, unless it's something special, it most honest to who I am - and therefore those around me, my family and God, to be and wear what I would otherwise - with a clerical shirt and collar. James took me for a bit of tour of the church, including going all the way up to the top of the tower. I'm not a big fan of heights, and struggled a couple of times, but it was a great view from the top. Halstead apparently has about 11,000 people - doubled over the past 10 years or so - and you could see most of the town from the top of the tower.

I got back home just after Moo and the girls, having been button-holed in the butcher's in Sible Hedingham. That's part of the deal, really, and fine.

Lovely to see the girls.

Labels: collar, curacy

Girls away

(backposting) Today, Moo took the girls to see Kirsty in Cambridge. I was privy to the further plan, though: to go on to London for Turtle's 5th birthday party. Turtle is Jo's cousin - Jen and Jake's youngest - and Jo loves her very, very much indeed. Jo slept some of the way, and realised as they got to Dulwich that they were going to Turtle's house. She then got stressed, on realising that it was a fairy party, that she didn't have an outfit. When Moo told her that she'd packed both girls an outfit, there was much relief, and Jo came out with the lovely phrase, "Mummy, what would I do without you?"

They were going to come back tonight, but to my great unsurprise, Moo decided to stay, which I think was the right decision. I went out to meet James - the other curate at Halstead - and his wife, Ruth, who'd I not really met before. It was my first - but probably not my last - trip to a pub in a dog collar (it was me in the dog collar, not the pub, in case you're reading this, Gary). It felt a little uncomfortable, to be honest, but I'm sure I'll get used to it.

I also met John and Mo, who are back from Africa, and seem to have had a good time.

Labels: curacy, family, girls

Title post

Yesterday, I had a letter from the DDO (the Diocesan Director of Ordinands) inviting me to explore whether I'd like to go forward with a title post in a parish. This is an immensely big deal. For reasons too legion to indulge in here, this letter has turned up rather late in the process, but it's a real relief. We had our yearly meeting of ordinands, those considering ordination, and their spouses this evening, and I spoke to the DDO about it. We agreed that I should follow up, and I told him that was very positive about the parish.

I can't, at this stage, say where the parish is, though I've talked about it with those involved in my training, and with family. It's entirely possible that I, or the incumbent in the parish, might decide that it won't work, and for that reason, it's not fair to discuss it at this stage.

What, however, is a title post, and why's it important? Well, assuming that I am ordained deacon in June (oh, we got the date, too, it's the 29th June) - and this is not a foregone conclusion - then I will be attached as a curate to a parish. I'll stay there for 3-4 years, first as a deacon, and then (again, God willing) as a priest (usually deacons in the Church of England are ordained to the priesthood a year after they are deaconed). So, it's where I move into the next stage of training after ordination, and "learn my craft", as it were. It's possible, but frowned upon, to move away from a title post to a different one, but generally, you want to stay where you are. So, a lot of thought goes into selecting a title post from everyone's point of view, and I hope to be meeting the incumbent - who I've actually met a few times before - after Christmas. I've got an overview of the parish and related matters already, and this is where the careful reflection and prayer takes over.

Labels: church, curacy, ERMC