Mike's musings

Last post of the year

Sitting watching Sense and Sensibility, which we recorded last night. We love Alan Rickman.

Not sure there's anything much to blog about, to be honest. Meant to take Jo swimming, but all of the pools in the area seemed closed, so Sennon and Victoria came around instead, and we went for a walk. Made flapjacks, ate them, or some of them. Moo made a lovely fish pie for supper.

We've got a new synchronised blog coming up on the 10th January: spiritual warfare, which is a new subject for me.

Here's to next year, 2007. May it bring Light into the life of all who read.

Labels: cooking, friends, swimming, walk

No delight in death

They killed Saddam Hussein overnight. It was a legally and politically justified decision, I'm sure, but I can't take delight in it. I'm absolutely opposed to the death penalty, even when the guilt of the accused is without doubt, and the crimes are horrifying. But I struggle, struggle with the taking of a life - even in war, but yet more in situations such as this. I can't see that we have the right - I, at least, couldn't take it on myself, and I'm glad that our nation does not practice the death penalty, because as a citizen, I would be party to it.

Went to Digi's 2nd birthday party today: his parents are Tosha and Nik. Lots of people, and Jo had a good time, as did we. A really nasty drive back home - seriously bid rain and surface water on the road for much of it. Couldn't go above 35 for much of it. Money's not good at the moment. Heigh-ho. And I've got a nasty throat. If that's all we've got to complain about, though...

Labels: death, illness, money, party, responsibility

A day with Jo

(backposting) In an attempt to give Moo a day to improve somewhat, I decided to take Jo out and spend as much time with her as possible. We went out of the (unavoidable) "coffee and cakes" to Freeport, and then to Crazy Kids, an indoor play centre not that far away. We walked there from Freeport, and it hadn't occurred to me that after around 45 minutes of (hectic) fun, it might be raining. But it was, and it didn't help that I left the change bag. Didn't go back for it, but on to lunch at a Chinese place.

Jo's first try at Chinese food. Good thing they do chips and mince pies as well. I had a good meal, though, and then we picked up the car and drove back to Crazy Kids to get the change bag ("silly Daddy!"). Back to Moo, who had benefited from sleep and rest, and then off to swimming. Jo loves her swimming, and it's become a little thing for us to enjoy together.

Labels: food, Jo, swimming

Back home

It's lovely to be back. A pretty good journey home, and in the afternoon, our friend Leo came to see us. She's a pretty big time grown-up EU lawyer, and isn't over in the UK very often - in the end she only managed to get over for a little over an hour, but it was fantastic to see her.

I've still got an essay to write. For the 5th. It needs to be on Church History, and I've chosen the following:

Analyse and discuss the relationship of Christianity and one other faith during the period studied and any impact of this today.

I'll do Islam, because the second half is pretty obvious. I've only got 3000 words or so to write, so it shouldn't be too much of a nightmare.

"I'll do Islam". Well, you know what I mean...

Prayers for Sally's son Chris, who's in hospital.

Labels: essay, friends, home

More family

Who'd have thought it was possible, huh? Rosie, Andy, Merryn, Tamar and a friend ("Yeessa" ?spelling) came for lunch. The rest of the afternoonseemed to be taken up with photos, holding of children, wees and poos (Jo), a hammock and people saying goodbye to each other.

Oh, in the morning I forced Moo to go to the doctor's again, who gave her some more stuff to take, which should hopefully help somewhat.

Slept very badly last night - better tonight?

Oh, and visit my Mum's website! She makes Shaker chairs, and her website (creatively called Shaker Chairs) went up today. Visit it, be in awe. Oh, and link it, 'cos she's upset that it's not in Google yet. Well, of course...

Labels: family, shaker, sleep

To my parents

(backposting) So, off to my parents, in Somerset. My brother and sister-in-law, Jim and Nina, turned up a little later with my lovely niece, Florence, who's now sitting up and crying whenever a man (almost any man) is near her. Polly and Lee (my sister and brother-in-law - do keep up) were also there. We did presents (lots more lovely things, including some Armagnac from my brother) and had a lovely meal with Carol, Lee's mum, who headed off home afterwards (she'd spent Christmas here). I also got a very good t-shirt from Jim and Nina which says "made in Brizzle" on it, with stamp across it reading "proper certified mind". Made me laugh.

Moo's still not well.

Labels: family, Somerset

Christians awake, salute the happy morn!

A lovely family Christmas with Kate, Mac, Nana and Aunty Kitty. A great 0900 service in Rempstone - 10 people, which ain't bad - a very good sermon. If we don't allow ourselves to move beyond the infant Jesus to an understanding of an adult Jesus, then our faith will never be adult, either.

Moo had to go to the emergency doctors when she finally admitted that her earache, throat pain, sinus pain, jaw pain and eye pain really _weren't_ getting better, and that she needed to find someone to give her some medication. Not so easy, given that she's pregnant, but they agreed to give her some antibiotics, and hopefully she'll get better soon.

Alleluia! Christ is born! Alleluia!

Labels: family, illness, joy

Eighteen Lessons and Carols

I listened to the King's Nine Lessons and Carols on Radio 4 today. The first time for a while: I find it difficult, not being there, and particularly at the moment, as I'm missing the amount of music - certainly live liturgical music - that I'd like in my life. But that was a good enough reason to listen to it, in fact. So although I didn't catch all of it - old relatives, young daughter, pregnant wife and all, but I caught most of it. The treble was very nervous at the start of "Once in Royal", but did very well once he got into it.

We then went to Rempstone church for their local one. Jo did pretty well, but found it difficult keeping still - and quiet, come to that - but it didn't matter. Enjoyed the service, and I'm gearing up for the Gift.

Labels: Christmas, Jo, singing

Christmas and laughter

It's not always easy to laugh, but having a 22 month old daughter certainly helps things along sometimes. She's a big fan of reading her bible in the morning ("Jesus in it"), and this morning, as most mornings, she wanted to read the Christmas story. So we opened it up. "Angel, Mary". We agreed. "What," I asked Jo, "did the angel say to Mary?" "Boo!" she replied. Which probably pretty much sums it up, from Mary's point of view. How she had the presence of mind to come up with Magnificat, given the fact that she'd just been informed - completely out of the blue, by an angelic being - that she was not only going to give birth to a child out of wedlock, but that he'd be God's own son, is beyond me, but all credit to the girl/woman.

They must have been almost at Bethlehem, or maybe already installed in a stable, trying to make the most of a bad job. As a father, I can imagine Joseph, scared witless (think about infant and female mortality rates in childbirth at the time), and being as positive as possible: "it's not too dirty, darling, and I can get some softer hay to replace the straw, and maybe we can use the manger: we'll feed the ox and the ass on the floor, or by hand. At least the animals will keep us warm, and we've got the swaddling clothes that your cousin gave us after their little John was born." And all the time, knowing that the baby was not entirely his. We pay less attention to Joseph than we ought to do.

I'm finding it easier to explore the godly and the theological at the moment. And I don't know why. The obviously spiritual aspects of my life are close to missing, but God provides. Through family, through this blog, through the blogs of others, through the other media, particularly the radio. I have an essay to write, and no idea where it's going to come from, but that's the way of the world. God's world.

Jo knows to say "Amen" now. And "Alleluia", though her pronunciation's a little bit off. We'll take her to carols tomorrow.

Labels: Christmas, Jo, Joseph, Mary, theology

Happy Easter

You must remember that the clergy have a lot to do in the lead up to Christmas, and it can all get too much. That didn't stop me laughing, however, when Keith, our rector, left me a message this morning to wish us a happy Easter. He said "Christmas" later in the message, and didn't seem to have noticed the switch, but I told Dorothy, his wife, who has agreed to rib him about it.

Jo is at a stage where she really, really wants to tell you things, and, when she tries hard, she can get there, but it takes her a lot of thought and hard work. She's coming out with some fantastic and surprising things. "What are the balloons doing?" "Floating in the sky." Wow. She was sick a few times last night, and ended up with Moo in our bed (so I wnet off to the spare room again). We think it was because I took her swimming and she drank too much water.

We did a secret Santa with the other kids after swimming, and Jo got a "Mr Potato Head". To my surprise, she loves it, and calls it "Monster Egg". When it doesn't have any of its accoutrements (eyes, ears, nose, etc.) attached, it does look like an egg. And it _is_ kind of monstrous.

Moo's still not well - but I took Jo out card-delivering this afternoon, and Moo got a little more sleep.

Labels: Christmas, clergy, Easter, Jo

On holiday - just

The third post in a row with "just" in the header. Well, given how useful the meeting was yesterday, I was left with some serious work to do today, the first official day of my holiday. And, of course, to _really_ urgent issues came up on top of that. I managed to finish it all by 1300, with the exception of my expenses, which I left until Moo and Jo had gone to bed, and have just finished.

Then took Jo swimming while Moo had a sleep and relax at home, for which she seems much better.

On a different subject, one of the *cough* disadvantages of the job I have is that I end up with some hardware given to me from time to time for demo and testing purposes. One such is the (rather nice) M600i from Sony Ericsson, one of our customers. It will sync with Blackberry Enterprise servers, and so I'm trialling it as an alternative to my rather bulky Blackberry 8700. So far, so good...

Labels: phone, work

Back home - just

(backposting) A very good meeting in Zurich, which should lead to some good work. Again, only just got home. Heathrow was pretty much closed, but they still seemed to be flying to London City airport. Well, they would have been if the Swiss (International Air Lines) plane I was on hadn't lost one of its landing lights on the way to take-off, thereby needing it to be taxied back to maintenance, have said landing light replaced, and then take off 30 minutes late. At least it was only 30 minutes.

Got home to discover that Jo had gone down easily, but that Moo was still suffering really badly from a nasty cold. As she's pregnant, pretty much the only thing she can take for it is paracetamol, which doesn't help much. I ended up sleeping in the spare room, as I don't have the heart to wake her for snoring, since she's pregnant. I'm a real softy, me.

Labels: flying, home, Jo, meeting, Moo

To Zurich - just

(backposting) Just made it to Zurich. They cancelled my plane due to fog at London City airport, but I managed to get onto the last flight out, just because I happened to be close to the ticket desk when I discovered the planned flight was cancelled, and got into the queue quickly.

Met an old mate from Cambridge University Press and APM (now well merged into Citrix), Steve Cunnew. If you're reading this, Steve, then Hi.

Got in late, but managed to get through evensong before going to bed. Enjoying SPIN selling (see blogs passim), somewhat to my chagrin.

Labels: books, Citrix, CUP, flying, sales

London

(backposting) A trip to London, worked out better than I thought it would, and I'm becoming resigned to the fact that my boss has decided to send me on sales training. In fact, having bought (at his request) SPIN selling by Neil Rackham, I'm beginning to look forward to it. Now _there's_ a strange thing!

Poor Moo's not well, and I'm off Zurich tomorrow.

Labels: illness, London, meeting, Moo

First they came - Martin Niemöller

1976 version

Als die Nazis die Kommunisten holten,
habe ich geschwiegen;
ich war ja kein Kommunist.

Als sie die Sozialdemokraten einsperrten,
habe ich geschwiegen;
ich war ja kein Sozialdemokrat.

Als sie die Gewerkschafter holten,
habe ich nicht protestiert;
ich war ja kein Gewerkschafter.

Als sie mich holten,
gab es keinen mehr, der protestieren konnte.

English

When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.

When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.

When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.

When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.

Martin Niemöller

Labels: Nazism, persecution, poetry

Sleep helps

Two nights of fairly decent sleep have really helped things along. Not perfect, but pretty good. Oh, and I got an hour and a half of sleep this afternoon. Moo and Jo went to bed at the same time, but didn't get to sleep, so thats's not such a good thing. Sally quoted my Ipswich post on my blog today. Wasn't sure how I felt about it, but it was pretty visceral, so I thought I'd leave it on.

Jo's getting better - less coughing, though still temperature. Moo says that she's feeling better, but she sounds terrible. I'm OK so far, and I'm hoping that I'll stay OK: though not as much as Moo is, as she's concerned that I'll really go on about it, and revel in my maladies. Can't think why she'd feel that.

Labels: sleep

Ipswich

Christ is the prostitute, the working girl, the hooker, the drug addict.

Christ is the john, the trick, the punter.

Christ is the policeman, the detective, the filth.

Christ is the journalist, the cameraman, the presenter.

Christ is the viewer, the reader, the listener.

Christ is the father, the mother, the sister, the brother.

God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, dies every time we sin. Every time we fail to live up to the promise that is in us, every time we reject Him/Her, every time we look the other way, every time we watch without seeing, every time we read without understanding, every time we hear without listening. God is always already there, in the sin, in the pain, in the dying.

But Jesus rises in every kind word, in every attempt to help, in every moment of empathy, in every tear, in every penny freely given, in every smile loosed.

Labels: Christ, death, Ipswich, murder, prostitute, rape, resurrection

Get well soon

Jo's really not at all well: she's got a temperature that goes up as soon as the Nurofen wears off, a nasty cough, and keeps bursting into tears because it's all too much. She seems to have some teething pain, too, which really doesn't help matters. So yesterday she decided to make herself a get well soon card. She's made them before for other people, and the logic is inescapable.

Poor Moo's on her knees, as Jo was up for a good percentage of each night I was away, and although I'm tired, it's just because my internal clock's screwed up, so I'll be first line of defense tonight. Going to bed now: it's 1942.

Labels: sleep, tears, temperature

Syncretism synchronised blog

This is from Phil Wyman, who organised a synchronised blog.

Today a synchronized blog has been arranged. There are a few of us blogging on the same subject from different perspectives. So, here's the subject: Syncretism in the Western Church Today.

Okay some of you may be saying, "What the heck does that mean?" So here 's a brief dictionary answer to help you understand what we are talking about:

"The combining or merging and synthesizing of religions or religious beliefs, practices, and philosophies. This results in new or hybrid religions that are composed of diverse elements of the religions from which they were derived."

So these blogs are challenging Western Christianity, and suggesting that it might have some form of competing philosophy which we have adopted from our culture. This makes it different than what Jesus might have intended. Ready for some challenging thoughts?

Here's where the blogs are:

• Sally Coleman - http://sallysjourney.typepad.com/ - Subject: Time out from Tinsel
• Phil Wyman - http://squarenomore.blogspot.com/ - Subject: Syncretism in the Evangelical Church: The Consumerism of the Altar Call and the Sinner's Prayer
• John Smulo - http://www.johnsmulo.com/
• John Morehead - http://johnwmorehead.blogspot.com/
• Matt Stone - http://mattstone.blogs.com/ - Subject: Family Values
• Billy Calderwood - http://www.billycalderwood.com
• Mike Crockett - http://mikeofearthsea.blogspot.com/ - Subject: Church and Culture: a double-edged sword
• Carl Nystedt - http://nug-personal-bubble.blogspot.com - Subject: Syncretism: pros and cons
• Steve Hayes - http://www.geocities.com/missionalia/bethesda.htm - Subject: Sundkler deconstructed: Bethesda AICs and syncretism
• Mike Bursell- http://www.p2ptrust.org - Syncretism a positive slant

Have fun, and see if you think about church the same from here on out. This is brought to you by people who want more out of church, and are on a journey to get there.

My post was actually made on Tuesday.

Labels: blogging, syncretism

Side-stepping

I side-stepped someone today. I IMed a friend (let's call her Sally, as that's her name, after all), and asked her how she was doing. She asked if I really wanted to know, and I clearly didn't, so I side-stepped the issue. I know that life's not easy for her at the moment, and I know that she won't feel that I should have taken up her particular cross, but it was my decision, and I decided to take the easy way out, and I feel a guilty about it.

And I'm not going to accept an easy way out, so there! :-P

I'm away from home, and missing Jo and Moo, and have had some fairly difficult conversations with both of them on the phone over the last couple of days. But despite that, I feel very receptive to God's grace, and I don't know how that works, and it's difficult, and I wish S/He'd stop it. Because I don't know how to deal with it.

Murder

One of Moo's colleagues works in Ipswich. She was due to go to a Christmas party this week, but her two teenage daughters asked (begged?) her not to, so, despite just a hundred yards' walk or so from her car to the party, she agreed not to go. She felt that her children had rarely asked anything major of her, but this time they had, and they had every right to do so, so she acceded. Things are bad in Ipswich at the moment. Sex workers, prostitutes, drug addicts, whores, daughters - whatever you call them - are being robbed of the God-given gift of life. They are being killed - murdered - and they are being deprived of the right - the privilege - to live. Who cares if they "sell themselves", who cares if they are "prostituting their bodies"? Well, God does, actually. But Jesus wouldn't condemn them, and neither have we any right to do so. And anyone who takes their lives away is playing the part of a God I don't recognise, because my God is a God of mercy, and love, for the marginalised, the sinners, and God knows, for me.

It's time for this again.

May God have mercy on his soul.

May God have mercy on the soul of each of us.

May God grant rest to those who have suffered.

May God grant forgiveness to those who cause suffering.

May God have mercy on his soul.

Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, miserere nobis,

Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, miserere nobis,

Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, dona nobis pacem.

(Lamb of God, who carries the sins of the world, have mercy on us,

Lamb of God, who carries the sins of the world, have mercy on us,

Lamb of God, who carries the sins of the world, give to us peace.)

Why are men so brutal? What have we done to deserve such a capability? May God have mercy on our souls.

Labels: Ipswich, mercy, murder, prostitute

On reflection...

... I think the syncretism post is due on the 14th, but this can serve for an offering for now. We'll see if I have anything else to give then.

Syncretism

We're supposed to be doing a joint blog on syncretism today: the extent to which the church marries itself with the "secular" world around it. In fact, both the signs I've seen today have been very positive, and I'd like to share them.

I went to a large mall in Mississauga: SquareOne. It's enormous, and I managed to get lost several times as I wandered around, trying to find a place to get my watch-strap replaced. What signs did I see of the church?

The first was a large sign, covering most of a pillar, advertising church services at a local Lutheran church. It was not out of place: it was another advertisement, and a sign that the church had embraced the methods of the secular world to put its message across. It wasn't corny, or demeaning, or cringe-worthy: it just invited people to church. No more, no less.

The second was simple. In North America, particularly, the Christmas season is very important for the Salvation Army. It's a major collecting time, and they also do lots of good work for the homeless and marginalised. At one of the intersections of the mall, there was a plastic, see-through ball with money in it, simply labelled as for the Salvation Army. There may have been some literature around, but if there was, it wasn't in-your-face. Next to it, there were two young women, sitting, chatting to each other. They were in fashionable clothes, and at least one of them had dyed hair and a lip piercing. They acknowledged my donation with a nod and a thankyou, and just carried on talking. It was a very natural expression of church and Christ in the everyday, and the women didn't seem "other" at all, except for their presence in the vicinity of the collection. They were people who seemed to have embraced the world, but made commitment to church at the same time. And that's pretty much as good as it gets. Or that's how it feels for now.

Labels: advertisement, blogging, salvation army, syncretism

To Canada

Hard to leave, as always. Not helped by the fact that Moo was due to trade her car in today, but when she started it up in the morning to go to Peterborough, it wouldn't work properly. I ended up doing damage limitation (partly putting things in perspective, given that Moo was a little distraught, due to lack of sleep and pregnancy hormones), and the RAC were able to fix it nice and cheaply. But her new car wasn't ready for collection, so she wasn't very happy in the end.

Flight OK, and had a good meal out with a bunch of the guys from work. I've even got a hire car, which is a first for me in Canada, though I've done so a few times in the US, a few years back. All OK so far...

Labels: Canada, pregnancy, work

A lying, torturing, murdering tyrant dies

I can't find it in my heart to be sorry that General Pinochet has died, and neither am I sure that I should. I don't regard death as an end, or even as a cause for regret - other than for those left behind. And I suspect that most of those left behind Pinochet - those touched by him - will feel a weight lifted from their hearts. He was clearly a man touched by evil, and although we all are, it seems that it found expression in him more than in most.

May God have mercy on his soul.

May God have mercy on the soul of each of us.

May God grant rest to those who have suffered.

May God grant forgiveness to those who cause suffering.

May God have mercy on his soul.

Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, miserere nobis,

Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, miserere nobis,

Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, dona nobis pacem.

(Lamb of God, who carries the sins of the world, have mercy on us,

Lamb of God, who carries the sins of the world, have mercy on us,

Lamb of God, who carries the sins of the world, give to us peace.)

Labels: evil, forgiveness, mercy, Pinochet

Not yet

This is Jo's latest, and I'm not sure why it's so affecting. Maybe it's the way she says it, and maybe it's the awareness of time she shows - at the same time as a complete disinterest in our terms of reference (and why should she have an interest in them?). Have you finished your milk? Not yet. Do you want a wee? Not yet. You get the message.

This morning, there was a frost, and Jo asked Moo, out of the blue, whether the white stuff was snow. She saw snow last year, but she can't remember it. I talked about it a couple of days ago, but I'd have put it in the "so abstract I'll be surprised if she remembers what it is when we actually see it" category. Children are monstrously amazing. Just beyond the intellect.

I love my daughter, however awkward, manipulative and downright annoying she can be. And she can. But she cuddles me, and we've agreed to talk while I'm in Canada ("Canda") next week.

Labels: home, Jo, Moo, snow

Bryanston

In the post today, I got the yearly report and round-up from my old school, Bryanston, down in Dorset. Guess that means that other people may have got it, too, and as I put an entry in it with a bit of a round-up (albeit written about a year ago, when I was till at Cryptomathic), and included my blog URL, so maybe some people will visit. If you do, it's good to see you around: please leave a comment.

Christmas trees and Christmas

We got a Christmas tree today, put it up and decorated it. Jo's really into it, and Christmas in particular. We've got a knitted nativity set (long story, but it's marvellous) which we also put up, and she's particularly fond of the kings (well, wise men, but kings is easier). A couple of nights ago, she phoned Jesus: she loves pretending to phone people and then chatting to them, but Jesus is a first. Tonight, she was in bed, and kept saying "God's son". I asked who she meant: "who's God's son?", and she said "Jesus". She then wanted to read Sleepy Jesus, which we did.

It's too early for her to understand about God, or being a Christian, but she's growing up understanding the key areas, and, since Kate (her grandmother, Moo's mum) said goodnight to her a couple of times over the past few days, she's been saying "angels watch" (from "angels watch over you", a goodnight blessing) as she's going to bed. And Moo's playing along, at the very least.

Reactions to comments

My thanks to Simon and Sally for their comments on my previous two posts. I'm not sure that I was sufficiently clear in the first of them that one of things that I was trying to address was the tendency that we have as Christians to criticise and try to lead people away from things. This is particularly the case, I suspect, with our children.

On the more recent post, about "true love", Simon made the excellent point that God-given relationships can be abused as well. He added:

In human relationships duties to god and society can be put to one side in the intensity of our emotions. Unless God is allowed fully into the relationship as a participant - not just as a founder - it is not 'true love'

I like this thought. There's a responsibility on us to nurture what God has given us, and to be active in his gifts. But I'd also said that it's not necessary even to have a knowledge of God in order to do this - or even to accept his gifts in the first place. We, as Christians (or Jews, or Muslims, or ...) can acknowledge God's gift in the relationships that non-believers have, even if they won't. It's realities like this that make it difficult for me to understand why some people don't see agency of the Holy Spirit in non-believers, and therefore that the God can work through society, even where some - or the majority - of its members aren't Christian.

True love

On reflecting a little on yesterday's post, I felt that I was a little off-hand about a particular phrase: "true love". It's a little too romanticised a phrase, and I wasn't sure it was very well chosen. I didn't mean it to be twee, honestly. Maybe, for true, we should substitue "God-given". That certainly reads better, and it better expresses what I meant. I think that any love which _is_ truly love ("true love", therefore) is God-given. That's one of the problems that we have when we talk about sin within loving relationships. If the relationships are truly God-given, how can their expression be sinful?

Getting hung up on religion

What would you do if you had a child who was clearly deeply in love with someone, and sleeping with them? A child who's easily old enough to know their own mind, and is an adult, certainly not a child? Would you try to stop him or her from going to see that partner, as a Christian parent? Would the fact that the child is also a Christian change your view?

I don't have a child old enough to present these questions, but I've been asked about them. For me, I don't think that it's something that's a major issue, or likely to be - I've posted before about this in a more abstract way, but the question posed in this way makes you think it differently.

God knows true love, and I think that we mustn't get in the way of that. Should we hope that a particular relationship moves to marriage? Not if that's not what God wants. And we mustn't try to live other people's lives for them - though with even a 22 month old daughter, I realise what a ridiculous statement that is. Can we warn? Yes. Can we offer suggestions? Yes. But we cannot stop another person from sinning. Or know, maybe, whether they are sinning. It's easy to condemn, but sin is about putting something between ourselves and God. Sometimes it might be easier to say that someone is sinning, but which of the two great commandments would this child be breaking?

Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and all thy soul, and all thy mind (Matthew 22:37b)

Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself (Matthew 22:39b)

Exactly: neither. Not if this is true love. You could argue that you're putting something in the way of yourself and God. But I can't say that for someone else. I can only say that for myself.

And that, I suspect, is one of the central dilemmas of being a parent.

That last port

(backposting) Not sure that I needed to have a final drink today. I was in Staines again - decided at around 1045, after more discussions with colleagues in the US, that it was worth my going there again. Wasn't sure how much use I was going to be, but my presence would serve a political purpose as well as a practical. In fact, I was some use, after all, and I managed to leave around 1830, which was an hour and a half earlier than last time.

I then had a good meeting over supper with Micke, a colleague, around strategy for the company in Europe. I'd had a good call during my (two and half hour) drive from home to Staines with Johan, another colleague, so I'm pretty much set up for my meetings next week.

Again, I said evening prayer before going to dinner. Particularly when I know I'm going to have a drink or two of an evening, I do try to say it earlier. I was so, so tired again, and it was a little oasis of calm, like last time.

Out for supper, and 20 weeks.

We don't often go out at the moment, but we went out tonight. We met Iain (from ERMC) and his wife, Beth, who's a curate in Witham. Only Iain and I knew each other, but everyone seemed to get on very well, and we had a lovely evening. We got home to discover that Jo had taken over an hour to get to sleep: poor Mel, who'd been babysitting her. Jo's just not well at the moment: she's not doing it on purpose.

We also had the 20 week scan today. I'll make a copy soon, and try to post it, but haven't got round to it yet. I'd hoped to be in bed by now, but I'm waiting up to hear from colleagues in North America whether I need to drive to Staines first thing in the morning to support a customer (same one as last week).

Still really tired

Oh - my mum's been here this weekend, which has really helped remove some of the pressure. For instance, it was 0500 this morning. Moo got up, I then went down 45 minutes later (unable to get back to sleep), and them my mum came down at 0615, allowing me to go back to bed and sleep till 0900. Still felt shattered after that, and a nice long walk with Jo on my back. Another hour after lunch kind of helped, and by the time I'd finished taking Jo swimming, things seemed close to normal. We'll see how we go.

Zoo. And some serious sleep

0700, but up at 0200. Zoo, after I had a big sleep during the morning. Not feeling great. This sleep thing's odd.

Had a good tutorial (on Islam) and a good supervision yesterday. Keith, my supervisor, seemed quite tired, and we talked about pastoral care, in particular funerals. We're going to try to arrange for me to be involved in a family visit and the service itself at some point. He'd also heard good things about last Sunday's sermon, which was very pleasing.

Advent

Yes, it's December, so Christmas is coming. Good on all _sorts_ of levels.