Mike's musings

Aunty Kitty's funeral

(backposting) We left around 0900, and got to Liverpool a couple of hours later. We met at Karen and Paul's house: I'd met him before, but not sure about her. They're lovely, the two kids we met were both great, too.

When the funeral cortege arrived, Jo - to whom we'd explained about the funeral being about saying goodbye to Kitty - had lots of questions. Really good questions for a three year old, I thought. She wanted to know what was in the box (coffin): "just Kitty's body: she doesn't need it anymore". "Why doesn't she need it anymore?" "When will we see her body?" "Why's that lady walking in front of the car?" This about the funeral director, who, it being Liverpool, walked the first 100 yards and the last 100 yards of the journey in front of the hearse. I explained about tradition, and Moo and I talked about the importance of ritual. Much of the funeral ritual that's common in Liverpool is pretty alien to me, and doesn't really do much for me, but it _does_ for other people, particularly Kate in this case, and if that's what's needed to help people say goodbye, then that's fine. It was really helpful for me, actually, from a ministerial point of view, to learn this.

The funeral was quick, and Kate managed admirably with the eulogy, and we headed off to the cemetery for the burial. The free church minister who'd taken the funeral said a few words at the graveside, a few people said a few words, and Jo - who, like all of the kids, was a paragon of good behaviour throughout - blew some bubbles over the grave, which was lovely. I'd been pretty anti having her put anything in the grave: despite what I've written above about ritual, I don't like the imagery of putting things in a grave as if they're needed, or might be going somewhere.

We had a meal afterwards, and then Moo drove us to East Leaek with Kate in the back with the girls. I had a bit of a sleep, had a cup of tea, said goodbye to the girls, and drove home. Pretty tired when I arrived.

Labels: family, funeral, ministry