Mike's musings

Loving our children

I've only got 17 month's experience of being a parent: Sally's got a lot more experience of that, even counting in years, rather than months. I have fears about parenthood, and one of the things that's been a revelation to me about the past year of training and being a parent is something of an understanding of God the Father, and a greater regard for Mary, mother of Jesus.

One of the things that I've had to come to terms with about being a father is not only that I can't control what Josephine will do with her life, but that I should not - I _must_ not. It's possible that some of the choices that Jo will make will hurt me, and that some of those choices will hurt her, as well. But I will have to let her make her own choices, in the end, even if that hurts me to the bone. That's something that Mary had to face at the foot of the cross, and in the end, that's what God the Father had to accept, too. I don't believe that God the Son was "sent" by God the Father to die for our sins. I believe that God the Son, as a separate man/person/entity/part of the Trinity, made that decision for himself, and even given his plea that the cup should pass him by if it was God the Father's will, he accepted and chose the decision to die painfully and slowly on a humiliating instrument of torture, taking the sins of the entire world on his shoulders. If she decides to sacrifice herself, for herself, for others, or even for nothing, there's only so much I can do. In some ways, the best thing I may be able to do for her is to accept and support her decision. I don't know if I'll be able to empty myself up that much for her. Kenosis is difficult - and I don't know if I can serve Josephine - and God's will - that much. I pray that I never have to make those sorts of decisions. But loving Josephine means that I may have to. God give me strength. God the Father, who suffered watching his Son, God the Son, who suffered on our cross for us - on my cross for me - and God the Spirit, who feels our suffering and touches us whenever we hurt, whenever we cry, and whenever we smile, and whenever we laugh. God be thanked.